have been studying everyday in school after lesson till evening or even night. like what the previous post had stated, it's indeed more conducive to study in school than at home, at least for me. but now, sitting in front of the notebook, i ponder, did i really studying or was it just wasting time in the library doing assignments? indeed, it's quite reflective when i do math since what ive revised, i know how to do it at least. chemistry was horrendous since i haven even touch it for the past one week. hell-ly shit. econs was another killer. like what mary said, i have my length but not the depth. i guess it's time to really schedule my time wisely and not chiong anyhow like a spider.

i have to be more organised. i have to prolong my attention span. the span lasted truthfully for 3 hours and it slowly died off by me looking at my friends mugging. it didnt last any longer when my motivator left the library in the middle of my revision. shit. i have to concentrate and stop drooling over his back.

i recalled, in primary school, when banding exist, i am never in the 2nd class. in secondary, on the verge of going to the ARTs class i manage to struggle up to the 2nd Science class. right now, i need that power and i need the faith in myself. seriously, i was complacent about my promo results when i thought many people flunked. or should i say, many people around me didnt do as well. but the reality is that, there are still plenty people out there scoring triple As or Bs. i shouldnt be so short sighted and celebrate just because of this small success when the mildstone is in 2mths' time.

im glad that i felt motivated and enlightened right now. but actions do speak louder than words. i guess 5days in the library have made me not willing to study right now at this high temperature at home. i need to be adaptive. i need to be attentive. i need to be hardworking. i need to be wadever i need to be. it's time to wake up tan lee lian.

i saw the light. the light which bring happiness. but somehow, it's beyond my reach, neither it is calling out for me. but i know if i could enter the light, my future is bright. yes yes yes. stop being complacent and optimistic or even short sighted. my future is dependent on the A's cert not preliminary results or even the PSLE or O's.

shall stop ranting. 15min had just been wasted. byebye